Women

Running to Stand Still…

“…And so she woke up

Woke up from where she was lyin’ still.

Said I gotta do something

About where we’re goin’…”

(Running to Stand Still by U2)

Like them or loath them, U2 are one of the most successful bands in the world and for me, this has always been one of my favourite U2 songs.  From way before I was consciously feminist and vocal, the words of this song spoke to struggles, wars and heartaches I had going on deep inside my teenage self and beyond.  Now… they speak to me as a woman in a much wider universal struggle.  Now these words describe the perilous existence and the perceptible non-existence of women across this globe.   These words describe the resilience of women…and isn’t it bloody well that we have resilience since we have been having the same conversations, asking the same questions, beating the same drums generation after generation after generation.  When does it end?

I have to ask myself a question so often these days…

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK??? 

We have a vulnerable woman living with mental illness who is manipulated and mocked by those supposed to protect #RIPDaraQuigley you sweet soul … We have the women of Ireland continuing to be treated as second class citizens in their own country through the lack of autonomy, respect and control over their own bodies #Repealthe8th …

We have sentences being handed down for sexual offences against women and children and men that range from suspended sentences to six months to 12 years – what is going on with our judicial system??? Where is the consistency???  It does not matter that it is a first offence, or that the offence will effect the perpetrator’s future prospects, or that the victim had 5 alcoholic drinks – the person responsible for the crime is the attacker.  The message must be made clear that sexual assault and rape will not be tolerated in our society and the sentencing for these crimes must support this CONSISTENTLY.

We have the shameful and disgraceful legacy of Church and State Mother and Baby homes all over this country where, we all know, there are most likely more horror stories like Tuam awaiting discovery #TuamBabies And the leaders of our country, the politicans we elected and ourselves…we, the citizens of this State, continue to dishonour those children and their mothers by demanding that every single child and mother is accounted for and afforded a peaceful, dignified and deserving resting place…

And those are a mere few examples.

 

 ” …You gotta cry without weeping,

talk without speaking

Scream without raising your voice… “

(Running to Stand Still by U2)

There have been times in my life when I have wondered what it’s truly like to be a man.  I’ve thought lots of things…like does having a penis actually make you more powerful? Or is it just the fact that you go around stabbing people with it that gives you some sort of elevated sense of self worth?  (Generalisation and choice of words here could be debated but you get my point)  Why did men get to have a penis instead of women?  Why do men seem to be in charge most of the time?  Why does it seem like men, white middle aged men in fact, control EVERYTHING?  Why couldn’t I have an opinion as a teenager without being called a bitch, bossy, fat cow (I am on the curvy spectrum but what the fuck has that got to do with it?), fat stupid bitch, know-it-all, whatever – your opinion doesn’t matter anyway?  There was never the same extent of disdain for boys and their opinions…that baffled me.  Why is it such a problem to hear a woman’s voice?  To see a woman’s body?  To acknowledge women’s autonomy and power in this world?

Fucked if I know!!

(I have an idea actually … privilege … but that’s a whole other box of frogs!!)

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Mansplainer…

I recently had an kinda funny though sadly familiar encounter. While out one evening, I met a friend of a friend who felt it was their opportunity, Nay! their duty to open my eyes to the futility of feminism and the fact that it was a dead ideal in today’s society.  Now at this stage in my life, I can spot a Mansplainer a mile away and I am well used to the arguments and reasoning served up to ‘educate and enlighten’ me on my ‘disillusioned lost road’.  I’m not a feminist to argue with anyone, I’m a feminist because I believe in balance.  I’m a feminist because I believe in equality in opportunities and life for all genders, all ages, all creeds.  There is no argument that can sway me from these beliefs.

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So, as the discussion or banter progressed, the usual arguments came forth – the Constitution doesn’t effect us regular people on the ground,  Women are treated equally now – feminism as a movement is dead and gone…  the Brogressive attitude became the forerunner for a while but it was pushed back a bit by the ‘You’re not doing yourself any favours’ bit.  I have to admit I found myself rising to the argument slightly then I thought to myself…what the hell am I doing?  This isn’t an exchange of ideas here… I am being told what I should be thinking and there’s no opening for discussion.  So I smiled a little, I re-iterated again and again that I didn’t agree and smiled again at the gleeful cry with clapping hands ‘I love a good argument!’.

One thing that was said struck me, however, I was asked which person was more valuable to society – Bill Gates or the person sitting in front of me?  My answer was both are of equal value and I truly believe that.  He felt he had triumphed in this perceived failure on my part ‘No…not at all… Bill Gates is more valuable because of his wealth and influence…I don’t have those.  I see things as they truly are’

I would argue that his view is clouded by perceptions of value based on material value and what comes with it.  No matter the roles we play in life, professionallly or personally, we are all just people at the end of the day.  And until we learn to value each and every person for the human being they are, there will be no balance.

balance

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See…the problem is that God gave Man both a penis…and a brain…

…and only enough blood supply to work one at a time!

The Late, Great Robin Williams

(Possibly not the exact wording but the exact idea)

Now, I’m not exactly sure which one is in the driving seat when it comes to the subject of Pro-Choice.  I know for a fact that there are men out there who believe in Women’s autonomy and intelligence in general but once we enter the Twilight Zone of fertility, reproduction, fetus and potential babies – the Neanderthal button gets switched on for some and suddenly it’s all thumping their chests and grunting “Me know better… Me Man… Me STRONG!!! Girl STUPID!!!  Me Decide”  Note:  Many of these are suited and politically inclined.  Ahem…Well let’s get something very clear …

I am woman

Across this Island of ours, we have a virulent ongoing debate that stirs every persons blood.  Everyone has their opinion.  And that is everyone’s right.  However, when it comes to dictating to others what choices they should make, it becomes another issue entirely.  I have been trying to think of a comparative example for men but it’s not possible so this is an example to demonstrate a point… bear with me boys!

Imagine the 8th Amendment was about the protection of sperm… given that without it, life cannot be created.  And through the 8th Amendment; masturbation was made illegal – well… it does waste those poor life giving swimmers now doesn’t it.  It’s not the same for women, they can masturbate all they like because nothing get’s wasted in their practice! Score!!!  So pleasuring yourself becomes an openly criminal act.  A quick hand shandy is no longer tolerated because you don’t know who you can trust to keep your secret.  And don’t even think about getting around the legislation by getting your friends to do your hand washing for you… by virtue of the fact that wasting sperm is illegal under the 8th Amendment – accomplices to the fact can be charged along with you.  Don’t worry, if you get desperate enough, if you feel that you can’t live without charming the one-eyed snake, you can put your case forward to a panel of medical practitioners (including two psychiatrists) who will decide if you’re actually desperate enough to be justified in having a wank.  If not… it’s the Male Chastity Belt for you for the next 9 months … or until all your sexual urges have dissipated… sound fun!?!?   I didn’t think so.

chastity

You can say that this doesn’t relate… that it’s not the same… that I should stop being ridiculous.  I’m not saying it’s the exact same because there is nothing the exact same.  Just consider the effect of your autonomy being taken from you.  Think about it.

#Repealthe8th

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Catch more flies with Honey…

I am compelled by the heaviness in my heart today to write this post.  Another day with lives lost to senseless terrorism disguised in a commitment to a blind faith or dedication to a cause promising adulation by virginal maidens on the sacrifice made.  I am making the assumption that this vile act of hate will be claimed by ISIS or another linked group and If I am wrong then I will stand corrected.  However, we, as a global community are becoming accustomed to the fact that these devastating atrocities trace back to these extremists and their unconscionable desire to kill and maim in the name of their cause.  And please remember, their cause is not Islam – their cause is not about any true belief for the betterment of any group.  Their cause is power, violence, greed and chaos.  Their power is pain.

I’ve sat here all day with this running through the back of my mind and I’ve thought about what I can do to combat this… What can I do from my desk here in Dublin?  or my home in Meath?  or my blog online?  And the only answer I consistently come up with is… You catch more flies with Honey than Vinegar!  If you sIMSPON GROUP HUGfeed Darkness with Darkness… it only grows… however if you introduce light, however small, that darkness gives – even by a trace.  The only way to oppose such blatant hatred is to display blatant unity and love.  Now, don’t switch off on me and think ‘Jaysus!! She’s gone all airy fairy – I’m off!!’.  I always think about things in terms of balance… Negativity is hugely prevalent on a global scale through fear and sadness and anger right now and for some time with the element of terrorism that has been growing.  These are emotions we must all feel and deal with – we can’t avoid that.  We cannot allow them to turn into retaliation and hate however, because then we feed the beast.  One way to counteract the destructive aftermath is to reach out to our fellow global citizens in solidarity and peace and support each other in any way we can in the face of this adversity.  There is massive emotional and integral strength in unity and support and this, IMHO, is the key in our mental survival going forward.

SPREAD THE LOVE! 

vIRTUAL HUG

For those of us that missed the 60’s … now’s our chance to re-engage the Free Love ideal (though I’m not personally endorsing going beyond hugging OK… virtual or otherwise!! lol)  Don’t feel helpless or defeated by events that happen in other countries – we can all make a difference by treating those around us and the people we meet everyday with humanity and respect.  To rephrase someone else and some other time… Everyone – no matter who you are – Everyone can make a difference.

 

Lots of Love and Hugs…. Helena x

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The Divine Nine of…Kissing xxx

I don’t know about you but I LOVE to kiss… a good auld snog… a  smooch… a hot and heavy session to get the engine purring so to speak!  At this point, I’ve honed my skills and after many hours slobbering my reflection in the mirror – I’m an expert!! 😀 Seriously though, I’ve  kissed select varieties of people and suffice to say – I think I may have  encountered someone from every possible style!  From the Jaw-breaker to the Sponge, from Woody Wood Pecker to Hoover-face… been there – locked lips with them!  And yes… there were lots of them… and yes… I had a whole lot of fun over the years in my kissing escapades… all in the name of adventure and fun!  And for the most part, it was so much damn FUN!!! There were times though, when a little guidance would have gone a LONG,  LONG, LONG way… for both me and my friends!

Hence, this version of the Divine Nine:

 1.  Never… and I mean NEVER approach your partner in this fashion.imagesML3DE4JZ

You may find as you get closer… closing your eyes…  anticipating connection that you end up just  falling on your face, as they have seen what’s coming and done a runner!!!

 2.  Drooling is cute on a baby – Drooling is NOT cute on an adult.
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Kissing someone with drippy, drooly, soppy lips is actually quite gross and  can be a little bit like kissing a piece of liver! (I stress that I do NOT  know this from experience – I admit to speculation here; albeit educated conjecture!)  Would you like that sensation on your lips??  I think not –  don’t inflict it on others…not a good start!!!

3.  Kissing is about intimacy and connection – it is NOT CPR!
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Remember… the person that you are about to connect with in a very intimate way is awake and breathing.  And if they are not – this list isn’t for you!  You need to seek professional help elsewhere… GO!!!  A kiss is when lips softly touch… not when your mouth completely encompasses theirs along with their nose and you become their sole supply of oxygen!!!

4.  Keep a stash of mints/citrus on your person in anticipation of THE MOMENT!untitled (18)

Think about it… the last thing YOU would want is to have to suck face with someone who smells (and subsequently may taste) like a cat’s arse!!  So be considerate and ensure that you’re not the one inflicting that on any other poor being!  No-one deserves that… For Gawd’s Sake!!! Will someone please think of the KISSES!!??

 

 

5.  French Kissing doesn’t only happen in the USA…lemme tell ya Debbie Harry!!

When it comes to tongue… the strict rule you must images03LZU0REremember – LESS IS MORE!!

Start out tentatively… pretend your tongue is a little mouse and it’s exploring an unknown cave knowing there’s a mousetrap in there somewhere!!!  Stay around the entrance…it’s safe there!!  No-one’s Potholing here and remember going deep leaves you open to catching Leptospirosis!!! (when caving that is … not Kissing!)  Going too deep while kissing can lead to a number of  possible outcomes: gagging (which we all know is not the desired effect here!), backing away slowly (again, not a desired effect), knocking someone’s filling out (could be costly) or straight up a big turn off!  So reign that big boy in & play it safe!

6.  The Ears – Do I or Don’t I???

tangled tongue earThis is Marmite … either you love it or hate it!  It’s a really personal preference and I would absolutely advise against throwing caution to the wind and just going for it without checking with the owner of said ears before your dive in!  It can be a huge turn off…like shivers down the spine, knee-jerk-kick-in-the-ass-slap-in-the-face reaction!!

 

7.  The Neck…and other erogenous zonesneck kissing

And for those not familiar with the phrase – I’m not talking about a time zone half way round the world!!  The neck is a world of wonder for those who have sexy sensitive skin there – if this is the case with you and your partner; kiss, lick, suck, nuzzle, graze, trail, caress and nibble your way to ecstasy.  They’ll be breathless and putty in your hands.  On the other hand, if they have tickly sensitive skin there, you’ll get head butted from various love biteangles and may even need medical intervention so best to proceed cautiously!

P.S.  On the subject of Sucking necks – A hickey from Kenickie is all well and good for Rizzo (LOVE her!) but let’s face it… toothpaste really doesn’t cover them up!!  Just DON’T GO THERE!!!  or at the very least… do it where you don’t have to cover it up!

 

8.  Biting – lips…skin…people in general!

We’ve all fancied someone so much that we’ve literally wanted to take a bite out of Lip bitingthem Right?… like Chomp! They are so delicious!  You know what I mean!?? … Don’t you?? OH…OK… well, of course – you should never act on that desire… that would be… ahem… cannibalism!  But nibbling and using your teeth to graze sensitive skin can be very erotic and sensual.   Just be aware that some are more sensitive than others and some have a lower pain threshold too!  So don’t just go right in there and snap your jaws onto a juicy bottom lip … or clamp your knashers on your partners poor unsuspecting nipple!!  Start gentle and feel your way to their limitations!

 

And finally 9.  Who you’re kissing

The truth of the matter is that no-one else really gives a shit who you are kissing so just make sure that whoever it is deserves your lips.

 

Hope you enjoyed reading these as much as I did writing them!

Helena x

 

kiss quote

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The Sorry Syndrome

When it comes to the apology game, I’ve been hit with a double whammy!! The first comes simply with being Irish.  So many of us carry that ingrained necessity to constantly appear humble which has often translated into every second phrase being ‘Sorry’ or ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘Sorry but…’ when other words or phrases are actually more appropriate like ‘Excuse me’ or indeed no utterance at all.  Sometimes superfluous mutterings are better left unsaid.  But that’s not our way – we Irish, tend to talk and have mastered the art of conversation; while also acquiring the delicate articulation of the mea culpa.

My second whammy is that I’m a woman…Sorry but it’s true! (see what I did there!).  And I lied…I’m not one bit sorry.  The thing is that as girls, as teenagers, as women in this country of ours – we have been programmed to apologise for so much…for having an appetite, for talking, for talking softly, for talking loudly, for laughing loudly, wearing imagesHQP6MVHW.jpgclothes that WE like, for having hairy legs or hairy lips or hairy pits, for farting, for burping, for pooing, for drinking, for liking beer, for smoking, for liking whiskey, for working, for liking working, for sex, for liking sex, for loving sex, for wanting sex, for wanting more sex, for wanting no sex, for having brains, for having opinions … I could go on for quite some time here.  If you have never thought about it… take a moment and consider it.  I’ll find it hard to believe if you tell me that as a woman, you’ve never felt you had to make an apology or excuse in some shape or form for at least one of the above… that you’ve never opted out of wearing that sleeveless top just because you hadn’t got around to shaving under your arms last night – that in itself is an apology & we’ve all done it; we’ve all let that judgement, that societal bullshit make a decision for us instead of saying ‘So Fucking What!’  Show love, respect, confidence and care for yourself in the words you use to yourself and about yourself.

When I went to live in NY all those years ago (don’t make me say how many! :-D) I practically apologised for my own existence on an ongoing imagesbasis.  It was ridiculous and I didn’t even realise it until one of my flat mates pointed it out to me.  I was shocked at the time but I’ve never forgotten it and I’m so glad she did (Thank you Owl! X).  It took a long time to really break the cycle but I do not apologise now unless I am genuinely sorry for something that I need to apologise for.  Thankfully, that doesn’t happen too often as I try to live by the ‘Treat others as you wish to be treated’ mantra.  My point in this whole post is … I’m NOT sorry…not now and never again and I hope if you identify with any of this that you’re not sorry either!

Unless this Government makes me sorry to be Irish by continuing to ignore the autonomy and the rights of Women in this State… but that’s another post altogether…

Laters for more rambling musings 🙂

Helena x

 

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I don’t bite… Quick Update

This is long overdue – sorry, it’s taken a while but a few thing going on and wanting a little time to consider it became a longer time!  Anyway, here is the outcome as it stands for those wondering what happened in the end.

I spoke with the Head of Security (as I had mentioned) and he was a very pleasant man who assured me regarding the training of the Security staff and there being above average numbers in the premises in question.  All of this I had no reason to question and as mentioned previously, he was very respectful, pleasant and professional.  He offered to meet me and show me the documentation in regards to their training etc. however, I decided that I did not wish to take up any more of this gentleman’s time.  He was very prompt in his response to me and could not have been more helpful.  I still had not received any contact from The Palace themselves.

After posting my blog entry  “I don’t bite, you know… unless it’s called for.”  I forwarded a copy to the premises via email and then received a call and voice mail asking me to call back.  I did so and got speaking to the General Manager who informed me that he had tried to call me before but there was no answer but didn’t like leaving voice messages.  Anyway, he started with what I thought was an apology about what had happened that night however, it turned into an apology that he still had to listen to a problem that, as far as he was concerned, was sorted on the night.  He stated that both himself and the Assistant Manager are ‘hands-on’ and are always available to ensure things run smoothly in the premises.  He was there that night and remembered the group in question and was involved with dealing with them.  I said to him that I didn’t know what the issue was that necessitated Security being involved on a large scale however I was surprised that they were allowed to stay – he stated that they always try to talk things down and I can respect that.  We talked and went through the details of the night and he mentioned being able to check the CCTV cameras in a manner that quite frankly seemed to throw doubt on whether what I was saying actually happened or not.  I again referred to the bar staff asking if we were ok on a number of occasions, I referred to approaching a member of security and asking for help which never transpired and I ended with a plea to indeed examine the CCTV cameras and observe exactly what I had just told him.  He then said that he couldn’t take my word for it, he would have to talk to the Security Staff.

At this point, I felt completely disregarded as a customer who had a negative experience, as a woman who was touched without consent in this premises under this persons watch,  as a woman telling the truth but couldn’t be accepted as such.

In short, there is no resolution to this incident because like so many other incidents in so many other circumstances, this was brushed aside with a closing joking comment of “Sure you’ll buy me a drink the next time you’re in, won’t ya… that is, if ya don’t boycott the place!”

Buy your own bloody drink.

Helena

 

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“I don’t bite, you know… unless it’s called for.”

Audrey Hepburn to Cary Grant, Charade (1963)
Well…this is one occasion where I must bare my teeth!! It was Saturday night – my friend Carmel and I hadn’t been out together since before Christmas as we both had a lot of stuff going on.  It was a toss up between heading into Dublin or for a change, going for a drink in Navan which is a little closer to me and it would work out considerably more budget friendly.  We opted for that and I cooked a yummy coconut, mango and chicken curry for dinner (even if I do say so myself 🙂 recipe to follow at another time).  Anyhow, the time we headed out it was around 9.40pm and we opted for a popular spot which has a Piano bar that stays open late.
When we got in there, it wasn’t too busy so we were able to get two seats at the bar by one of the narrow stain glass window partition that sections off the long bar.  We sat facing the bar, slightly toward each other, chatting and laughing our asses off as we sipped our drinks.  It started out as a really enjoyable night.  We didn’t make it to the end of our first drink before a large group of men (a stag from Kilkenny of about 15 altogether), pretty well seasoned, descended upon us.  I do not use that phrase lightly, they literally ‘descended’ upon us.  We were suddenly squashed against the bar in our chairs – It was like we were the centre of gravity and they couldn’t physically move away.  Now, don’t misunderstand me – when I say this I don’t mean it in a narcissistic way.  I actually mean it in a claustrophobic, freak us out way… in the ultimate ‘Get off me Man!!!’ way.
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It started out as a bit of banter and a bit of chat and you know what…that’s grand!  Who doesn’t like good auld joke and a laugh when you’re out for the night?  Then there was a hand on the shoulder…then this progressed to an arm around the shoulders….with the hand reaching down curiously close to my breast.  (Yes…they’re great boobs but they’re mine…no access to the uninvited – thank you!)  There were hands anonymously running through my hair and my friends too.  With each shrug off, the arms and hands returned with a vengeance.  On both of us.  I started out politely and clearly stated “Now Lads, you have to move back, stand away from us and put your hands in your pockets – that’s enough.  No more” This initially got two brothers to back off slightly (as in 6 inches or so).  They moved to one side and in sidled a few more.  This continued and escalated to hands moving down to grab our arses and bodies literally pushed up right against us (and no – it wasn’t that full in the place).  Getting up to go to the toilet was like taking your life in your hands – I actually had to use my chair to push my way through the men and make my way out.  My friend stood up, turned around and told them in no uncertain terms, to take their hands off her, not to touch her again, to get back from her and to leave her alone (with a few necessary F**ks thrown in for effect).  This was necessary twice within 10 minutes when the behaviour just kept repeating itself and then I had to follow that with a similar repeat warning of my own.  At this point, there were a number of Security talking to some of the men and things got very intense.  I’ll be honest, I was hoping they were all going to be chucked out.  I don’t know the reason that Security were involved and after a few minutes, they all seemed to relax.  Some of the Security moved away however, one of the men seemed to move to strike a Security man and some of the men were escorted outside.
untitled (5)I don’t lose my cool very often – I’m very much a ‘catch more flies with honey’ type woman however, I was fecking furious by this point because the other men remaining started again.  I got up out of my seat, walked to the closest Security Man and explained how we had been subjected to completely inappropriate touching by these men throughout the night and despite being asked numerous times to stop – they wouldn’t.  I asked him if they could please do something about it.  He said he would talk to the men straight away.  In that time, my friend also spoke to one of the bar staff who asked if she was ok – my friend replied that she was not and she said how she found the actions of the men to be completely out of order.  The bar tender said she would speak to the Security straight away – which she seemed to do, the same guy I spoke with – he was back at his post a couple of moments later however, not having spoken to the men, despite both our requests.  From that moment onward, the Security Man watched us with a hawk eye’s which, as you can imagine, was a little uncomfortable and then down the bar, the remainder of the group stood staring up at us until the end of their night.

Can anyone tell me when it was decided that if you talk to someone in a pub or club, that it entitles you to touch them in any manner whatsoever?  Or indeed, you don’t need to talk to them at all.  At another point in the night, I watched as a different man altogether came to the bar and slipped his arm right around Carmel’s waist – she simply removed it – to which he immediately apologised and said ‘Oh Sorry, I’m just going to the bar’.  WTF??  I, personally, would never approach a bar to get a drink and slip my arm around a woman or a man under that pretext.  Is there a preconceived notion of ownership over women?  What does it take for No to mean NO?  Is it actually too much to ask for the simple concept of personal space to be acknowledged, respected and maintained?  I know that alcohol was involved in the circumstances on Saturday and as an element, is not usually conducive to positive experiences in such circumstances.  But I have to also point out that alcohol does not cause men to think or act like brainless, misogynistic assholes – those have to be characteristics already intrinsic to the person in the first place.  Out of that whole group of men, there was one man who sincerely apologised for the behaviour of some of the others.  1 in 15 with a conscience appears to be a pretty sad and scary statistic.  According to the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre,  sexual assault occurs where a person is subjected to a sexual act (sexual touching or penetration) without his or her consent.Whether or not physical force is used, sexual assault is an act of violence.  It is a profound physical and personal violation of the individual.  Research shows that the primary motivation in sexual assault is the meeting of the perpetrator’s non-sexual needs for power and domination and their expression of anger, rather than their sexual gratification.

The other issue is the establishment where this occurred and their responsibility to their customers.  We were in a very visible position at the bar and we were asked if we were ok by the bar staff so that says to me that they were aware that we were in a compromised and uncomfortable position.  Yet no action was taken to offer us any assistance and despite our request for help – nothing was done.  We were watched by a Security Man for the last part of our evening but I’ll be honest, that was just plain uncomfortable.  And when it came to leaving, I was more uncomfortable because I didn’t want to meet any of them outside.  I’m no wallflower, I’m well able to look after myself but I’m no idiot either.  Two women versus a large group of alcohol fuelled men with ever so slightly bruised egos does not compute.  We headed out onto the street to hail a taxi ourselves with no more security on the lookout.
I contacted the bar in the days that followed by email describing exactly what had happened and how both my friend and I were treated and made to feel as a result of this.  Within 24 hours, I received a call from the Director of the Security firm that provides the staff for the venue.  He was a very professional man who also deals with the training for the organisation.  He sincerely apologised the for the experience we had on the night and we are due to meet in the coming days to have a chat about the relative training that is provided to his staff.  I will update you on that progress and to be honest, if my gut feeling is correct and given his reaction to the events of that night – this is an issue that he takes very seriously both on a professional and personal level.
What I am disappointed with, however, is that I have not received any contact from the venue themselves.  Not even an acknowledgement to my email.  This is not only bad form and let’s face it, unprofessional – it speaks volumes about this establishments attitude to a very serious and pertinent issue that is ongoing for women.
Hopefully, I’ll update you with more soon.
In the meantime, this is my outfit for next weekend! 😀
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Helena xxx

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